Night's Oot

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It aw happened so fast

A thought a had much longer tae last

But life, it doesnae gie ye that chance

One night out on the toon

Was when I looked roond

And found out the horrible truth

Cos I might naw be bald

And don’t complain about being cauld

But somehow I’ve still got fuckin auld

Efter that last night on the fortified wine

A felt 89

Instead of the young gun a um

Couldnae dae a second round

It’d have me 6 feet under ground

And I couldnae even manage a cheeky Sambuca

So Nae mare GBX

A felt like a T-Rex

And defos nae 1am chippies

And Nae mair Ring of Fire

Cos after a felt dire

And walk aroond looking awfy tired 

A should ave seen the warning signs

They were happenin aw the time

Like, when I started to enjoy Sunday morning walks

I found out I was in an age bracket aw by masel

When nae one remembered Kenan and Kel

And how much that cunt loved orange soda

So instead of getting out ma bin

I’ll have a night in

And watch a bit of Strictly Come Dancing

One day it’ll happen

And you’ll find your panickin

Cos you cannae dae what ye once could

Naw you don’t need to be bald

Tae find oot yer auld

A night oot will dae that just fine

For more poems check out my Poetizer profile here or my Rabbie Burns Would Be Ragin’ collection here!

Chris Patrick